For Diarrhea’s sake joke from Sabahan

For Diarrhea’s sake joke from Sabahan

There are three fellow looking for job at Sabah Electricity Sendirian Berhad or better known as SESB. SO one day they have been called for interviews. It turns out they have the same strong academic profile. So the SESB manager in charge of recruitment had some problem to choose one. So the manager asked the final question and whoever can answer the question and give a strong point will get the job. This is their conversation.

Diarrhea Woman

Manager: What is the fastest thing that happen to our lives in terms of things that we are doing?

1st Fellow: The action from standing to sit sir ….

2nd Fellow: The time we switch on the lights, just press the light switch and it will on …

3rd Fellow: The time we get diarrhea

1st and 2nd fellow burst to laugh ….

The manager gets angry with the 3rd fellow answers.

Manager: Why you answer that???

3rd Fellow: I think my answer is correct sir. If I get diarrhea, I will never be able to sit not to mention to switch on the lights.


P.s : This is a translation from Malay language. Hope you enjoy to read it.

Guardian angel of Kota Kinabalu

Walking down at Gaya Street in Kota Kinabalu, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you.”

Gaya street jokes

The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to Suria Sabah.

The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die.”

The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”

“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.

“Oh yeah?” the man asked. “Where the hell were you when I got married last week?”

Bukit Bintang new gangster take over

Arab Gangster trying to take over Bukit Bintang

P/s : This could happen to Sabah also if no concrete action taken by the Government. One day the local will not be able to do business because the Pakistan already take over all the business. 


Arch to the Arab Street near Bukit Bintang

This is an article quote from The Star Online

ACCORDING to Metro Ahad, Middle Eastern gangsters are exerting control over the streets of Bukit Bintang, taking over from Malaysian triads.

Its front page carried stories of these foreign gangsters who had become responsible for the social ills in the area, which is now also known among them as “Ain Arabia” (Arab Street).

The gangsters have reportedly taken over from their local counterparts, especially around business premises by the main road.

A taxi driver, known only as Alim, told the daily that some of the gangsters, most of whom arrived as tourists, were involved in prostitution and drugs.

He claimed to have shuttled Middle Eastern prostitutes to and from various hotels in Bukit Bintang, adding that they usually worked at nightclubs and that their customers were mostly Middle Easterners.

It was reported that the gangsters and prostitutes usually convened in nightclubs in the area.

A journalist, who went undercover at one of the nightclubs, discovered that the services of a Middle Eastern prostitute ranged from RM600 onwards a night.

A prostitute told him that she would not stay in Malaysia for more than three months at a time, but frequently flew here from her home country of Yemen.

Kampung Danger dan pemandu teksi

Cerita ini berlaku di sebuah perhentian teksi.

Seorang wanita berbangsa Filipina menaiki sebuah teksi di Kota Kinabalu,Sabah.

Pemandu teksi itu pun bertanyakan kepada wanita tersebut “Cik mau pigi mana?”

Wanita Filipina itu menjawab “Sana kampung Dangir ya”.

Pemandu itu berasa hairan, kerana inilah pertama kali selama 10 tahun menjadi pemandu teksi, dia mendengar nama kampung itu.

Oleh kerana tidak tahu kampung itu dimana, dia bertanya sekali lagi kepada
wanita tersebut.”Di mana bah itu kampung Dangir?”

“Alamak, encik ni pemandu teksi baru ka? Itu kampung Dangir sana di
dakat kampung Likas bah, dakat itu tapak pembinaan bangunan kerajaan yang baru itu”
jawab wanita itu.

“OOOh di sana, bah mari la aku hantar kamu” kata pemandu teksi itu.

Lalu pemandu teksi itu pun menghantar wanita itu ke tapak pembinaan itu.

Kampung Danger Likas Sabah

Setibanya mereka di tapak pembinaan tersebut, wanita itu pun berkata “Nah kan, kamu tahu juga bah tempat ni, tengok papan tanda yang di situ itu ada tertulis nama kampung ini” kata wanita itu menunjukkan
jarinya ke sebuah papan tanda di situ yang bertulis “DANGER” (merbahaya).

Selepas kejadian itu, pemandu teksi tersebut tewas dan ketawa terbahak-bahak sehingga meninggal dunia akibat serangan strok.

P/s There is a lot of funny jokes in Sabah due to the multi ethnic in Sabah.

H1N1 alert in Likas Women and Children’s Hospital

PREVENTIVE MEASURES: Health dept tells public to seek immediate treatment

P/s :   I get the info about this H1N1 alert yesterday afternoon through whatsapp.  I read it and at first I don’t believe it and prefer to wait for the news from the authority. But when I came to Queen Elizabeth blood bank for a blood donation , I heard the nurse and medical assistant chatting about it  and one of them said that how can i sent my wife there for labour if the hospital is infected.  While I was laying down at the chair waiting for the blood bag to be filled I reconfirmed the info that I get from the whatsapp and they said its true. Anyway,  please read this article if you want to know whether we should panic or not by clicking this  link  Panic or not?


This is a copy of the news report from New Straits Times.

KOTA KINABALU: SABAH health authorities are taking the highest precautions to prevent the spread of influenza A (H1N1) following the recent detection of seven cases in a hospital here.

The patients, five of whom are children, at Likas Women and Children’s Hospital here are reportedly recovering well at press time.

State Health Department director Dr Christina Rundi said anti-viral drugs had been administered to the patients while 24 others were screened after they were believed to have been at risk of being exposed to the virus.

“The ward has been disinfected while an operation centre was opened on Tuesday to control the situation.

“Staff have been instructed to take leave if they are sick and increase hygiene practices, including proper hand-washing and wearing face masks.”

She said the hospital had also started limiting visitors.

Health education has been conducted for the public to inform them on how to identify symptoms which include flu, fever, sore throat, diarrhoea and body ache. They were also taught preventive measures, and to seek immediate treatment.

Influenze A is contagious via respiratory droplets, with senior citizens, children younger than 5, pregnant women, and people of any age with certain chronic medical conditions being especially vulnerable.

Sabah reported 944 infections during a global pandemic in 2009, 145 in 2010, 26 in 2011, and six last year.

Besides the seven in hospital, another case was reported recently in Sandakan, bringing the total number of cases so far this year to eight.

At press time, the source of infection has yet to be identified.

Sources said the first case to be identified at the Likas hospital was a child who was warded with kidney problems.

Kadazan moing patient

Kadazan moing

A Kadazan moing was very ill and his grandson went to visit him in the Queen Elizabeth hospital. All of a sudden, the moing began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last piece of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The grandson was so overcome with grief that he forget about the note in his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:

Please don’t step on my oxygen pipe!!!

P/s Moing is a word in Kadazan and it means either grandmother or grandfather.The Kadazans are an ethnic group indigenous to the state of Sabah in Malaysia.

PAM called to tighten the building code

Tighten the building code-PAM

The article below is related to the current accident that happen at Asiacity at the end of January where a Myvi accidentally fall from fourth floor to the ground floor.

Myvi jatuh dari tingkat 4

Kota Kinabalu: Persatuan Arkitek Malaysia (PAM) Sabah Chapter has called on the local authority to tighten the building code to ensure all parapet walls are adequately and structurally reinforced.

Its Chairman Victor Wong said the building code must be enforced whether the parapet walls are at the car park levels or at the balconies since “un-reinforced” parapet walls can be highly dangerous when accidents occur.

He was commenting on the incident at Star City on Jan 30 where a man lost control of his vehicle while reversing and crashing straight onto the “parapet” wall, before plunging four storeys down to the ground.

He said under the existing building by-laws, there was no explicit requirement for all the parapet walls to be reinforced structurally.

“As a standard practice, stiffeners are always being specified by the professionals to ensure that the parapet walls are generally safe to be used. However, these basic stiffeners will not be strong enough to withhold the impact of a crashing car,” he said.

According to Wong, the worrying trend was that with so many condominium projects under construction in the State Capital and other parts of Sabah, more car parks were being stacked vertically to satisfy the car parking requirement within the limited sizes of the building lot.

Hence, similar accidents such as the one reported were likely to recur if the safety issue on the parapet wall design was not tackled promptly by both the authorities and professionals.


Source :

Legally dead

Kota Kinabalu High Court Jokes
The courtroom clerk of Kota Kinabalu Bar recorded this exchange between an anonymous attorney and a pathologist in a recent murder trial :

“Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”


“Did you check for breathing?”


“So then, is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”


“How can you be so sure?”

“Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”

Even then, this would-be Perry Mason refused to throw in the towel:

“Is it possible the patient could be alive, nevertheless?”

“It is possible that he could have been alive,” said the pathologist, “and practicing the law somewhere.”

P/s This JOKE is a work of fiction. All character names, organizations, incidents and any other names, phenomena and such, are fictional as well.

Scientist experiment gone wrong

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog’s legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn’t able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it’s hearing after having three legs cut off.

Mass conversion of Sabahan Natives to Islam is valid

This is an article from Daily Express. I hope Sabahan natives will be more careful when someone offer money. We will never know what is their true intention.

Kota Kinabalu: Outgoing Sabah Islamic Affairs Department (Jheains) Director Datuk Amri A. Suratman (pic) said Tuesday that the recent mass conversion of Christian natives to Islam in Pitas is valid under Islamic law, although the manner in which it was carried out is under investigation.

Amri said only the Syariah Court can now cancel or retain the new converts’ religion status.

He said Jheains had investigated the case involving 74 people from remote villages in Pitas in a ceremony held at the district mosque on Jan. 1, following allegations that it was carried out in a questionable manner.

“We are looking at the matter from two angles, one from the angle of Islamic law and the other, the manner in which the ceremony was organised.

“Their conversion from the angle of Islamic law is valid but the manner it was organised, we are leaving it to the police. I understand a police report had been made on the ceremony,” he said.

Amri said not all the villagers converted to Islam that day, but the others did when they recited the Dua Kalimah Syahadah.

It was reported that several villagers lodged a police report on the conversion ceremony, claiming they were cheated into doing so in exchange for receiving RM100 for adults and RM50 for children on Jan. 7. It is understood that they travelled for hours to town to receive the aid which was originally meant to be RM800.

Amri denied Jheains had masterminded the ceremony. According to a web portal, the effort was made by a Selangor-based non-governmental organisation, Yayasan Ikhlas, which claimed to have raised about RM11,000 to be given away as contribution to the “Saudara baru” (new brothers and sisters).

“If there is any element of cheating or criminality we are leaving it to the police,” he said.

Although the conversion was conducted by Jheains officers, Amri said the officers had to be certain before people could be converted.

“Those who converted through Islamic law, before it is done, we need to be clear that their intention is genuine and voluntary. They need to recite the Dua Kalimah Syahadah and accept Islam with an open heart.”

He said the new converts have to attend courses and the Sabah Islamic Council (Muis) has a financial scheme to support them for this. “Once converted, the coordinating Jheains officer will send their particulars to the Sabah Tithe Centre, which will later provide them the allocation to attend the courses.

“We will give it to them once we receive their registration,” he said.

Amri said there are many NGOs in Sabah doing their outreach programmes to recruit new converts but advised them to coordinate their activities with Jheains.

“As-a-matter-of-fact we encourage them but we want these NGOs to coordinate their work with Jheains officers placed in each district,” he said. Amri has been transferred to the Chief Minister’s Department on promotion and is replaced by Abdul Halim Nayan, the former Natural Resources Department Secretary.